So everything finally snapped. And I'm angry. Really really angry. And I like it.

Being angry is so much better than being sad and desperate and lost. It has energy and passion. It makes me move forward. At least it doesn't feel like I've fallen in a hole. Yesterday it was just denial (stage 1 of grief, right on time...there was a lot of bargaining already...jumped ahead with stage 3, I guess). Too much to do, too much to grieve. There comes a point where there is just only so much one person can grieve for and at some point you go the completely opposite direction and are just happy because you've run out of room for sadness. Today I'm just angry (stage 2). Angry that people have to die and hurt and that I can't figure out what's wrong with my hip and have gotten nowhere.

So I'm going running. Haven't been allowed to for the better part of a year. Don't stop me.



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I want to be good at poetry or writing songs or art or something to get this all out better. All I do is write bad emo stuff.



Just had to put this somewhere.